14 Days

14 days and counting until Alex breaks the six month curse. However, I'm not nervous, nor am I walking on eggshells. In fact, I'm pretty confident lately. It's a great feeling.

As you know, I saw Alex last Wednesday and hadn't seen him since. I missed him, but I was trying (note "trying") to give him space for hunting and whatever else it is men do. I admit, it made me sad. But it's all good. Because last night, guess who surprised me at my door in Starkville? Santa...wait, no. That's not it. ALEX. When I opened the door I screamed, because it was this beared stranger with stuff in his arms. But then, I realised that it was my sweetheart, and it was a nice surprise. So, of course, I must recount my darling gifts. He set me up with a metallic hot pink sanyo digital camera (since mine broke on my trip to Colorado), complete with carrying case and memory card, an MSU platter than makes me want to immediately bake some cookies or something, and a lot of Love Spell products from Victoria Secret. So....if you see me running around excitedly taking pictures while passing up brownies while smelling wonderful, well, just go blame Alex. His gift actually fit him! I was so nervous at first, but he said he liked it. Since that's all I have to go off of, I'm going to just say he liked it and that's that.

Tomorrow, THE Collins family (my immediates) are coming over to my apartment for our "Christmas" dinner. Then, Thursday, it's time for the Jenkins family Christmas. My dirty santa gift kicks butt! It's a Paula Dean 9X9 turquoise blue baking dish, two boxes of brownies and four Christmas themed bowls to place the brownies in. Needless to say, I'm so stealing it if someone gets it from me. It's going to be an all out war!

This morning, I have done nothing but watch videos and episodes on hulu and nbc. The Sing Off is such a good show! I wish I could find The Little Mermaid somewhere, but I guess one can only dream for perfection. Anyway, I guess I need to get up and get dressed....or atleast get up! Toodles and Merry Christmas.


Cheslea Collins

Christmas Begins

So...Christmas shopping is done, all except for my dirty santa gift for the "Jenkins" family Christmas. We call it the Jenkins family Christmas, because that's how everyone is related, even though no one has that last name any more. I'd like to name my son after Jenkins, but the poor boy would be destroyed on the playground...anyway....

Alex came to see me Wednesday night. We allllll hung out (Meagan, Cassidy, Alex, and I) but I haven't seen him since. I could have seen him, but he was busy. But he misses me. I don't get how you can miss someone but not want to see them just yet. Weird, huh? But hunting season knocks all natural things out of wack. I'm about to wrap his present....or so I thought. I'm scissorless, and am probably going to have to free hand it. I can't walk or draw a straight line, much less tear it. Should have just bought the bag.

The Collins Family Christmas was yesterday. Aunt Sam brought another boyfriend for us to meet. I think my family has liked him the most, but it doesn't really matter what we think in the end, does it? It's allll up to her. I got a gift card to Barnes and Noble. Whose family knows her well? Mine does, that's right. I actually went to church with my family this morning, and somehow got wrangled into singing in the choir. After church, I got to join in the family lunch I miss EVERY Sunday, and then I went home and watched a movie as everyone else left. Yep, I come home and everyone leaves. Typical---just kidding.

Now, I'm sitting in Starkville next to new roomie, Meagan, and we're just chillaxin.

OH and I got my hair cut!

me and daddy at Christmas 2010

Me and Ethan

Momma and I

Thats all for now. More soon, probably.


Chelsea Leann Collins

Return to Civilization...the Southern kind

I am finally back in my apartment. Only now, it's graced with living room furniture and cute knick nacks. I should be in bed right now, and swear I'm about to go. I just HAD to upload my Colorado pictures tonight. It makes it easier to show the ladies at work...and all my anxious friends! I am so glad to be home. I mean, yeah, I had fun and it was great to see Tiffanie. But I missed Alex, my bed, and dear ole Starkvegas. So here I am at 11:48, configuring a new router so I can have wireless and editing the fire out of some mountain pictures. Here are a few of my favorites...there's over 100, so I can't upload em all here. I'll include a facebook link though :)

Glenwood Canyon

And again...

Me about to go snow tubing. Don't I look legit?

Me and Tiffanie outside of New Castle

The Snow Tubing Mountainside

This is what a snow storm looks like. Kind like fog/thunderstorm, right?

This is the Cathedral Basilica of Immaculate Conception in Denver

In downtown Denver

The Cathedral of IC from far away. It was modeled after an actual cathedral in France!

As you can see, I had a lot of fun. But I wish Alex could have come. It would have been so much better...but anyway, it's time for bed!

Good night and Happy Holidays,
Chelsea Leann

Freezing in Mendenhall

Well, here I am in Mendenhall, freezing my toes off! I'm laying on Bryans couch, with the space heater practically at my face, hoping it will warm up, but frankly, I doubt it. If I knew where the thermastat was, I'd definitely knock it up a notch or two. Tomorrow, I fly out of Jackson at 6:50. I land in Denver at 12 their time, 1 our time. I'm excited, yes. However, I'm already missing Alex terribly. Go ahead, laugh as you will. But you'd think itd be weeks before I saw him again rather than just four days. I wish he were going with me.

I think I messed up his Christmas present. All we can do now is wait and see when he opens it. I am curious as to what he's getting me. I'm pretty pumped though. I know I will love whatever it is, because its from himmm. Really, I like anything he gives me. The orange plastic marking ribbon on my steering wheel is testament to that. I'm a goob, I know. Even though he pushes my buttons like I'm a keyboard, I'm still glad he's mine.

24 days until six months. 15 until Christmas. 5ish days until I see Alex. 14 hours until Colorado. 8 hours until my flight. 30 minutes until I sleep. Just saying.

Good night!
Chelly

Flashback Attack and the Countdown to Six Months.

Well, many of you know that this time last year, I was on the edge of losing my mind, my heart and self-confidence strewn between Kosciusko and Starkville, and my carefully controlled world slipping through my fingers. I was in the hospital after weeks of panic attacks, my grades were dropping, and I was moving out of my house. And now, I sit before you today, a completely different person. On the inside atleast.

On the outside, I'm funny, clumsy, hyper, and ready for whatever you got. On the inside, I think it's safe to say that I'm healed and over it, but I don't think I'll ever be as open and naive as I was. The dreamer's still there inside of me, but there's also the realist standing by with a rubber mallot ready to beat the dreams down. I guess it's a good thing. Because even though it was great to go through life with my heart on my sleeve, confident in my future, a total ray of sunshine...it wasn't all that great when it stopped. Now, even though I still wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm a mostly a piece of sunshine....well I'm not always confident of my future. I try to control it....but I'll never get that control, will I?

Alex said something to me a few months ago about me not being over Justin. Of course, my friends, family, and I know that he's wrong wrong wrong if he means that I still have feelings for him. Because I would never go back to Justin or even see Justin in that light again. There are some things that cannot be undone or forgotten, and even though I've forgiven him, the things that I've read and seen will always be there in the back of my mind. However, I've been thinking. And I guess I've decided that it will be a long time before I get over what happened, what was done, and the affect it had on me. I don't trust as easily. I have paranoid fears. I will not be able to fully give myself, heart and soul, to anyone. I can love someone. That's just part of me. But to love someone so completely that I become blind and fooled? Never again. I will probably never fully enjoy a December again...half was spent in depression and confusion....the other half was spent trying to build another relationship with another guy who would ultimately get bored with me and change his mind a million times.

 

As for Alex and I....well yesterday was 5 months. To the unknowlegable reader, 5 months isn't really that big of a deal. Well, for me, it is. Because this is when things usually start falling apart for me. This is when the irrational arguing and fears start, the walls come back up, the confusion and mistrust explodes. Not just in me---the other person in the relationship had his fair share. So for the next month, I'll probably be walking on egg shells and holding my breathe. Do I think I'll make it to the 6 months and beyond? Yes, I do. How can I say that and still not be totally confident? Well, as I've said before, I've learned not to be confident in other people, because some times they just wake up and change their minds. Do I think Alex will do this? Heck no. He doesn't love me (yet), but I know he cares for me a great deal and won't leave me. This relationship is not the kind that sweeps you off of your feet and makes you feel like you're in a dream. Nope. It's the realest, most solid thing I've ever had.

If I don't get to see him on the weekend, I will be upset. But I will be okay. I can tell him I'm upset, and he can upset back with me. But it's ok. Because we're not going to break up over a small fight. Or even a big fight. I don't have to live in total fear of him dumping me because I state my opinion. Goodness, that is so nice. And that's how it should be. I can't believe I ever was in a relationship where I had to do that. But it's always looking back when we realise these things right?

He calls me because he misses my voice. He talks to me throughout the day. He cuddles with me as we watch a war movie (bleh on war movies!). He pays for my meals. He comes and sees me. He makes me feel beautiful. He accepts that I'm goofy and emotional. He likes ME. The only thing he doesn't do that I wish he would is write on my facebook wall...and that's a little juvenile...I guess.

I get unreasonably jealous at the girls he adds on facebook. They're always skinny and pretty, and as you all know, I'm not skinny. I'm pretty though. On my good days. And he just laughs and says, "And I'm in a relationship on facebook with CHELSEA COLLINS for everyone to see." And you know what? You're dang right he is!

He hasn't met my extended family or my close friends. Only Morgan and some schoolmates. But there's time for that and now that I'm living in Starkville, the oppurtunities will present themselves. I don't know why I'm blabbing on and on. I guess I just needed to vent. Have I mentioned I hate December? Wellllll, I'm off to Colorado in a few days to make some GOOD memories with Tiffanie. And here's the crazy part...

I'm going to miss Alex like crazy. I know that every second I'm in Denver, I will be thinking of him and wondering if he's thinking about me. I like this relationship. A lot. Wish me luck for the next month and beyond! Cause after six months, I'm not really going to know what to expect.

Off to study!!!

Chelsea Leann

I got Cable....and my TV screen went out.

I'm a work as usual, but I thought you needed an update on apartment living. It's all good so far. The other night, it was stormyyy and the tornado sirens were going off. Normal people would have hidden in their closets, pantries, bathrooms. Me? I poked my head out the door, because I didn't know what was going on. And low and behold, my neighbors were sitting on their front porches drinking beer, talkinga bout the probability of a tornado. I think I love where I live. I found out my neighbors were football players (well, one is and one used to be), and they're pretty cool. My apartment was clean for the first few days, but I must admit, its getting slightly messy in the lady-cave.

Alex came to visit Saturday as a surprise :) It was great having him there, because I've been dying to show him my apartment. Monday, Kayla came over for movies and study time. I must say, I'm not sure anything was accomplished.

I finally got cable yesterday! I was so excited. I had to go to class, so when I got back around 9, I sat back, flipped it on, ready to watch something. Anything. Fifteen minutes later, I'm staring at the TV in a stupor. My screen went out. So I turned it off and tried again about thirty minutes later...the TV came on. I quickly changed the inputs, to see if it was cable or the tv. Sadly, it's the TV. Alex offered me the use of his TV...and I'm seriously thinking about taking him up on the offer. What a sweet boyfriend I have.

I finally ordered Alex's Christmas Present. It's....nope not telling on here either, sweetie haha. And I bought Bryan the canvas packs so I can paint him some Bulldogs! Woot Woot!
So, one final down, four to go. One is in a few hours, one is tomorrow night, one is friday afternoon, and one is Monday morning. Then it's work and preparation for my Colorado trip. 10 days! I'm very excited. Well it's back to work time.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I really have the sweetest boyfriend?

Love,
CC

Sitting in a Parking Lot

I am internetless and cableless (is that a word?) until next Wednesday. And between then and now I have a lot of work I need to do on the internet. And the library on campus is closed SO...I'm sitting in an empty parking lot checking my bank account, playing on facebook, and turning in assignments. You have to love the last few days before exams start. I'm about to go pick up my Christmas tree from the old house in Starkville and buy some lights from Lowes or Walmart. I'm really lazy and don't want to go into a big store, but what is a Christmas tree without lights?

So I moved into my apartment. My brother, Kayla, and Patrick helped transport my clothes up the two stories, and my parents and cousin, Brock, helped with the furniture. And...the parents bought me food, that's always a plus. I'm trying to get the internet hooked up, but since I have no kind of technology, it's just me, my computer, and redbox movies until it happens. Oh and books. I like books. My apartment is amazing and I love it, even if it is empty of any furniture besides a table and bed. Thats all you really need right? It's amazing how much difference not having a couch makes. Its so empty. But soon, it will have a Christmas tree!

So let's talk about buying Christmas presents. I thought I was home-free in September when I decided to get Alex one of the super cool RC helicopter. It was pretty expensive, but worth it. Well, I got nervous that he would get mad over the price and mentioned it to him. When he didn't sound excited in the least, I decided not to get that for him. I was only spending money if he could be happy over it. So then I found some amazing gloves that sounded awesome in the description. I got Trey, my daddy, Debbie (Alex's Dad's girlfriend), and Mr. Lemoine (former Ag teacher, who is an avid duck hunter) to check them out and they all said they were amazing. But, alas, Alex told me he didn't wear gloves when he went duck hunting because they either a) made his hands sweat and the sweat turn to ice or b)weren't really waterproof. SO I finally found something that he will like (I hope) and I'm not bringing it up directly or indirectly in any conversation for fear of being shot down. I just can't take it anymoreeeeee.

Anyway,

Bye world. I'm going back to the stone age.

CC

Death Week

      This week has been called "Death Week" for a good reason. It was almost the death of me! It started last Saturday when I wrote all those papers and assignemnts, and it ends today, as soon as I get off work. I've lost my temper, cried, felt sick, been sick,blown up,hid away, and felt delirious all in the past seven days. I kind of feel sorry for Alex and my family and friends. Being around had to suck this week.
    
    Alas, it is all over and done with and a new weekend is about to start. I get off work at 2 today, get my electricity stuff worked out with Meagan, go home, take a nap, and then get to go see my wonderful, understanding boyfriend...who is probably going to pick a fight with me, because for some unknown reason, he likes to make me mad. Guys---who gets them?

    Last night, Kayla and I went to the Harry Potter 7: Part I premier. I was chilling at her apartment, playing with the webcam, making goofy rap videos, talking about the wedding (since talking about when the engagement is going happen is like walking in a minefield, we talk positive about the wedding. Save the Date, 12.17.10....jk....sorta). We get to the theater around 10:15, thinking that the lobby is probably about 75% full....but that was not to be so. No, the doors were locked, and the line extended down the sidewalk from the box office to the back of the parking lot. And it was cold. We sat in the car for a few moments and finally got out and took our place among the excited (sometimes, too much so) fans. Here are some of the things we saw:

• A crazy girl in nike shorts and a red shirt on a "quidditch broom" zooming around the marking lot, more like galloping like a horse.
• A crazy guy yelling at his girlfriend to hold his wand.
• Several other wands.
• Some kids in full-out Gryffindor costumes.

Needless to say, very entertaining. The movie was great; I thought they ended it in a very appropriate place. However, we didn't get back to the apartment and in bed until around 3. So, I'm running off of four hours of sleep and am in desperate need of a nap.

      So, I am going to get back to work and count down until I am able to bust out of this joint and go find a cushy bed or couch or piece of grass. Anything will do at this point of my Harry Potter induced exhaustion. I just have to up and ready to see Alex and do whatever it is we're doing. I think he said we're going to Old Mexico in Philadelphia. OR watching Hannah Montana: The Movie. Either way, I need my wits about me. So dear readers, two of you I believe, I hope you have a safe weekend and all that jazz.

Countdown:
1 day until Gun Season Opens
5 days until MOVE IN
6 days until THANKSGIVING
13 days until Finals
20 day until Colorado with Tiffanie

Byeeeee,
Chelsea Leann

GO STATE. Remembering Nick Bell. BEAT THOSE HOGS.

Why can't people stick to their schedule?

So, why can't people stay on schedule? A teacher assigns work, I do it, and then she pushes back the due date. Well that's all good and dandy for the people who haven't started on it yet, but what does that encourage ME to do? Be a slacker? Be a procrastinater? Even though that I only have about three classes left in this one class, it still makes me MAD. In fact, I'm sitting in the class right now. How perfect is it that I'm writing this blog now.

Thursday I am going to see the Harry Potter 7 premier. I'm pretty pumped. This will make our fourth or fifth movie premier together....not just Harry Potter....in fact, mostly Twilight. I feel like such a nerd.

So I've got a huge ulcer, and have been slightly ill for the past weekend because I was trying to get it done, only to have most of it pushed back until after Thanksgiving. And YES thats a great thing....but all that stress for nothing. CRAP!

LOVE LOVE LOVE
Chelsea Leann!

Weekend of 28 Pages

What did I do this weekend? No much at all. I went to see Alex and everyone at the Kosciusko Playoff Game (which they lost). Saturday was spent in pure mind-numbing pain...writing two papers due this week. And by papers, I mean a 14ner, a 6er, and the documentation analysis that has to go with them. Now, I'm where I want to be. Watching Alex play video games that I have no knowlege about. Gotta love it.

-Chelsea Leann

A week of planning

This has been a hectic week, but I have gotten a lot done. However, there is still so much to do, I feel slightly sick every time I walk into a classroom. Teaachers, is this all really relevant? Will this truly help me become a better teacher? I still have the best days of my life ahead of me---don't make me hate my occupation before I begin.

GOOD NEWS! I might get to do my first senior semester block in the SUMMER. Which means *gasp*...I'll graduate in December. I'm ready to graduate. I am NOT ready for the real world. Alex mentioned something about going back to school to become a paramedic. Why do I surround myself with biology and medic lovers? Come on...my two best friends (Amy and Kayla) and my boyfriend all have or are working on degrees in Biology. I guess for what I couldn't make in the grade, I have more than made up for in sources for reference. SO...the plan is to graduate, put my name in the school systems of the five surrounding counties, and hope someone takes maternity leave or quits their job in December so I will have a place to work.

Tonight, I get to see my sweetheart at the Kosciusko playoff game. The Fire Dept is doing a tailgate thing . Tomorrow and Sunday, I dive into schoolwork and hopefully get to see Alex somewhere in there. Something happened to his tire, so his truck is out of commission :(

Anyway, it's back to work for. Good thing I get off early today !

Love,
Chelsea Leann

Facebook Rage

Let me rage. Not about the 12 year olds who came to be in love, or about the guys who post pictures of their abs. Or the girls who talk about Justin Beiber. Those can be addressed later. This goes out to all the liars on facebook who think they're doing such a great job of hiding their true selves from the world.

Number one: If you're married, say it. If you're engaged, say it. If you're not, cut the crap. However, figure it out and stop bullcrapping. You can't defriend and delete your husband or wives facebook account every time you two get in an argument. If you're old enough to be married (which most of you aren't), then you should be old enough not to change your relationship status every five days. We are not in junior high anymore, although some of us might have been engaged or promised at that point. Drama.

Number two: Speaking of drama. Don't air it out on facebook. I know theres the whole "If you dont like it, don't read it" deal, but if I defriended you, you'd eventually be like, "Why'd you defriend me?" and start talking about be behind my back. I don't know how else NOT to read your stupid posts about how great your life is or how hurt your heart is, when I know it's all your fault. Call me cruel, but you dug your hole and we don't feel like reading all about the woes of your life.

Number three: Boyfriends should write on their girlfriends walls. Even if they're talking to them ALL the time, facebook is for letting the world know your life (except for that above). And maybe I...I mean girlfriends...would like the world to know their boyfriend misses them or thinks they're great or had a great time. It's silly, but it's special silly. Just do it! Girlfriends should not, however, impersonate their boyfriends (or wives their husbands) and write "Hey baby, I miss you soooo much." We know it's you, idiot. Boys don't use multiple Os. They aren't that mushy either. And if they are, once a day is enough. Get your man under control or on a leash.

Number four: Don't stalk your exes. That's just creepy. Especially if you're married or in a relationship. It's called move on....I mean, a week or so after you break up is ok. Maybe once or twice a year just to see what's up and to make yourself feel better. But constantly keeping track, going to lengths like hacking other people's facebooks just to do it....come on, psycho queens and kings.

I think I've ranted enough. Call me the facebook police, I don't care. Defriend if you'd like, because that saves me the trouble. I can't get rid of facebook, because that would cause drama. Can't live with it, can't live without it. That's why I have it on my computer at home, at work, and on my phone in two different applications. We love the drama, but I really am beginning to dislike the folks that have a constant supply of it. Oh and DRAMA does not follow you. You create it, nitwit.

Oh, I do feel better. Much love!

Chelsea Leann

Oh...and Justin Beiber sings well....for a 12 year old girl. HA! I said it. Bring it on, munchkins.

Who wants to bring me lunch?

It's Wednesday afternoon, we're halfway through the week, and it looks like it is about to snow outside....only, we all know it isn't. You have to love Mississippi though, right? I'm working through lunch, as usual, but am quite hungry. I'm tempted to call good ole Daddy and ask him to bring me something....but fast food just isn't what I crave today. You know I crave? A hug from my boyfriend. It's ridiculous how someone who can make me so mad can also be the key to making my day a brighter, fuller one.

Yesterday, Nick Bell passed away. He had cancer, and he took a turn for the worse. He was my age. I think this is a reminder to everyone that life is short and you never know---so live it while you can. We all rang our cowbells at 7:36 last night on campus and around Starkville. 36 rings for number 36, 7 o clock for 7 wins. God bless that Bulldawg.

I sign my lease tomorrow. I'm so nervous, it's ridiculous. Momma's coming up to Starkville as soon as school lets out. We get to look over the apartment again, and I pray she doesn't find anything at fault. Anyway, it is time for me to get back to work.

Oh, and I adore my boyfriend. Just saying.

Chelsea Leann

Boyfriends can be Butts

If I make it through this week without killing him, I will probably end up marrying him. Why is the male population so likely to annoy the bajeezes out of me? I’m at my wits end and it’s only noon on Monday!


Meagan and I decided on Sherwood Apartments. It’s a two bedroom, two and a half bath apartment for 860 a month. The bathrooms are a little small, but its in a nice neighborhood not far from campus.

Only three weeks left in practicum. I’m going to miss all those kids. But I am so ready to begin Middle School Block! And turns out, Summer Senior Block I may be available. That’ll set me up to graduate in December (EEP!).
I feel like papers and information should be pouring out of my ears. Literally---anything from the 16th century’s view on women through literature to culturally-relevant teaching, I have you covered.

This weekend is my brother’s 23rd birthday, so Happy Birthday big bro!

Andddd, that’s all. So far.
More rampages to come, I’m sure. Alex never lets me down.



Chelsea Leann

In 30 minutes, a good day can be undone....

I need to get out of this house. I need to get out. I can feel the stress level rising here, and everyday, it's something new that I've broken, messed up, or not done. I need to get out of here. Me and Dad haven't butted heads yet, but something is wrong. I don't know what I did, but I feel like there's something that I've missed. Maybe I hurt his feelings or his pride. Maybe I just annoyed him. He's not the only man in my life that's acting strange.

I'm a little confused and hurt right now. I just can't figure out this relationship thing. What I can say and not say, ask and not ask. Maybe I just should avoid situations that require me to ask and say things that might potentially affect things. Every relationship is different, with different boundaries and rules and I just don't know. I just don't know.

I wish I weren't so sensitive and scared. What happened to the I-don't-give-a-dern girl with the attitude? The one who would push her way to the front and demand to be first? Oh yeah, she was a creation of my imagination, someone I wanted to be, but never would. No, the normal Chelsea is right here. The one who needs constant reassurance, promise, and affection because she's so insecure. Thats right. I may ride a motorcylce and pretend to be tough, but I'm not. I'm your typical bookworm, too wrapped up in her romance novels to look up in the real world. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I'm giving up for the night. Maybe the pep-fairy will come tonight and give me some much needed spirit. I just don't feel all the great tonight.

CC

Update...a few days late?

Well, last week was exciting. I decided to move out of my house (or at least begin the process of), found a roommate (the lovely Meagan Jones), and helped work the House of Horror with Kosy Fire Dept. It was...interesting and exciting and confusing. I don't know where we're going to live. We've narrowed it down between Sherewood and Spruill, I think. I guess we're girls and we're never going to decide, but hey, I'm pumped and ready to move in with her. She's hilarious, fun, smart, and we mesh well.

The House of Horror was an interesting experience, to say the least. I didn't get bored and always had something to do or someone to talk to. I did have an awkward moment with some odd guy named Gabriel, of course when my boyfriend is no where to be found to rescue me.

Ever been hit on by someone you're not interested in, couldn't be, wouldn't be, no way ever gonna be? Yes, I am being shallow. Yes, he's a nice guy. But...not my type in the least. I did everything I could to get out of the situation-mentioned Alex a dozen times, changed the subject and talked to other people, pretended to get a phone call, tried to walk away, I even brought up pictures of Alex and was like, "He's my world.". Old dude didn't get the picture. So, I walked away hurriedly with a phone number and a feeling of guilt knowing I'd never call. But what was I supposed to do?

Anyway, more later. Peace outttt.

Chelsea Collins

Apartment Shopping

Welllll, the time has come for me to give up on me getting a barn, an airstream, or a Katrina Cottage and to just move back to Starkville. Back to the crazy bills, the stressful grocery shopping, and the occassional siren. And by occassional, I mean atleast once a week. Back to no curfew, no puppy, and no one cleaning up after me. Surprisingly, I'm not too sad over it. I mean, I am going to miss living with my mom and my dad. I love them so much, and we've gotten closer over the past year. But I need my own space. I need it.

So I looked for one bedroom apartments. Guess what? It's so expensive, it makes me sick. Sicker than the idea of having a roommate. I've had a bad experience, as one of my readers knows. Probably my one and only reader, because my stalker is being a slacker and doesn't check up on me much anymore. Maybe I should bad mouth him and then he'll check it out by ironic melodramaticism. Don't google that word. I'm not sure it exists.

So, in comes Meagan Jones. I met her through Alex's best friend Cassidy. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: My future roommate is my boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend. Yeah, that about sums it up. She's a really cool chick, and we clicked the first time we met. She currently goes to MCC, but will be transfering to EMCC. We've been looking at two bedroom apartments...or really, I've been googling two bedrooms and texting her about them. So far I've found:

A four-bedroom, four-bath house in The Highlands with one resident looking for roomates for 400 a piece, including cable and internet. I liked it, but Meagan isn't too savvy on moving in with a stranger or living in the party-typical former golf course. Land of the fratastic. Baha.

A two-bedroom, one bath apartment at The Links. I love this place, because it is so quiet, pretty, and safe. Plus, my best friend, a few friends, and my uncle live there. It'll be about 330 a month, plus cable, garbage, water and electricity....I figured it'd end up being about 450 at the most.

A two-bedroom townhouse with Spurill Townhouses that has 1.5 bath. I've been inside one before and it's not too bad. I believe rent was 450 a month, but I'm not quite sure.

A two-bedroom, two bath trailer at Kountry Aire (Don't Ask!), but I'm not sure if it includes a washer and dryer, and I really can't afford to go out and buy a new washer and dryer and I'm not sure if you can rent one. And I am NOT dragging my clothes home to wash them. Guys can do that, but girls have to have access to a way to clean their stuff!

That's all for me lately. I'm just anxious about this apartment thing. I want a safe place with a good deal. *sigh*

Chelsea Leann

I looked at Crossgates, but those apartments are super expensive, too. It's pretty stressful trying to find a place....

On top of that, I'm in search of furniture. And I mean CHEAP furniture. Meagan has a couch, so we need a table and a coffee table and maybe a stand to go beside a couch? I guess it's time to go garage sale shopping! I'm pretty pumped, as you can tell. I haven't told my parents about me deciding to move in with another girl, because they're about as roommate shy as I am. We've had one or two bad experiences. But I just can't afford to live by myself and not live off of Ramen Noodles. I can't deal with that sodium intake. But, I think I will tell my mom first, because she'll soak up the information better. Then she'll tell my dad. And my dad doesn't care as long as he doesn't have to move stuff. Did I mention, I was also looking for a bedroom set? Hello Christmas present! I need one, though. Haven't had a new bed since I was a little kid! Stupid hand-me downs. But honestly, I'll take a mattress on the flower if I have to. Sad, but true. I'm not too hard to please.

Meagan and I had this discussion about dishes and bathrooms. I think we'll work out just fine. We're meeting Friday at like 3 to look at some apartments...eep!

Friday-Lunch, when I always update

Hello readers. I think it's safe to say readers now, since Kayla and Alex have both admitted to being so bored that they come read my blog. So, yes, Hello readerS.

This week has been a doozy. Emotional rollarcoastering has been my game, Moody has been my name. Its like I go from being so mad that I could punch a wall (which would be very immature and nonbeneficial to me) to being so crazy and tickled pink at the fact of having such a wonderful boyfriend and friends. Hey, I'm a girl and it's my right to be that way, right? No. I'm really ready to be calm again. Although, with Alex, one mood never lasts very long. I'm beginning to think it's his personal goal to to make mad as heck atleast twice a day. Men.

I'm going to Colorado in December! I can't wait to see my bestie Tiffanie Marie AKA Pookie. I'll get to see snow, build a snow-family, make a snow-angel, and go snow tubing. I didn't think people actually did that. Like, I thought it was a movie thing. But HOW EXCITING! I'm pretty dazzled by the idea of snow. And lots of it. December needs to hurry up!

I'm always going to get my mother's bow restrung and learn how to shoot a deer with a bow and arrow. Lord help me and all the trees in the woods, because I'm more likely to hit them than the deer. But, let's quit the downing myself.

I got payed today! So it's pay day, a Friday, and I get to see my baby. Or...I better. Or it's gonna be WWIII up in here.

I have to make fun of Ole Miss at this moment. So, in closing, HIDE YO KIDS. HIDE YO WIFE. HIDE YOU PICNIC BASKET! haha Black Bears. Congrats Ole Miss.

Chelsea Leann

Alex Meets Weir and Kayla's 21st

Sorry for the depressingly deep blog Friday night. Saturday night, Alex drove down to Weir to meet some of the people I grew up with at the McKnight's Septoberfest. He was very tired, and we ended up leaving rather early. I didn't mind, though, because I kind of wanted some alone time. I'd missed him very much over the past week. I don't know what he thought of my friends, but I figure he doesn't have much of an opinion. Justin was there with a girl I used to idolize when I was in kindergarten. I gave him heck about it, just because she is atleast eight years older than us and she made me feel like an ugly little five year old all over again. I can't hate on him too much though, because if not for him, I'd never have met my Alex. It's amazing how someone can do you so wrong but you can still be friends with them, because of one good deed. Alex thinks I still have feelings for him. I guess he'll never know how wrong he is, but thats his problem to deal with. I know how I feel and who I feel it for and thats that.

Alex can be one of the most wonderful guys in the world when he wants to be. When he's grumpy, it makes me grumpy or sad. When he's happy, I'm usually happy unless he's teasing me. He makes my blood boil and my temper rise, but I love every moment I spend with him and wouldn't exchange a second for anything. Not every day is a good day, but every day is a new day, right? I wish I could fully explain the effect Alex has on me. He makes me feel safe, cared for, and able to do anything. I've never felt so beautiful or special as I have in the past few months. I trust him-although sometimes, my fears get the best of me. Alex is a great guy, and it wouldn't surprise me if I found out girls were after him. I'm a jealous girl. I try not to be. But I look back at what my trusting and naive way has gotten me, and I can't help but be a little suspicious when things seem to go a little too well. I don't know what to do about it, but I guess I'll get over it with time. Everytime I get caught up in the memories...oh well.

Today was Kayla's 21st birthday. She's probably the person today in the WORLD that turned 21 and didn't take a sip of alcohol.  Freak...just kidding. She's the better me I guess. But I kidnapped, blindfolded, and took her to Red Lobster in Tupelo. We had such a great time! After Red Lobster, we went to the mall. I got some of those cute, currently in fashion, brown Fall boots everyone's tucking their jeans into, a friendship bracelet with arrows on it, and a fake engagement ring. You guys may laugh over the last purchase, but if you're a single girl, who is even slightly pretty, you understand. I don't want to be engaged right now, and I am quite content just being a girlfriend. In fact, I think I'll be ok with that for awhile. But, unfortunately, there is no outward sign that I have a boyfriend, and that seems to give guys the idea that they can talk to you, and quite frankly, bug the crap out of you. Now, I'm not fighting off guys all day, every day. I'm not THAT pretty, interesting, or charming by far. But every once in a while when I dress up and go out with my girls, or walk across campus on a good day, there's that one cocky frat guy who wants to holla at you. And even when you step back, and say, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend. ", it doesn't seem to matter. So, now I have a fake engagement ring that screams "TAKEN! LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!". I used to have another one, but I lost it when I moved back to Weir. Truly unfortunate, because it was a really sparkly, pretty ring.

I finally got home around five, and my parents were home from Tennessee! I was so glad to see them, because I had missed them sooooo much. They bought me an angel necklace. I used to be obsessed with angels when I was a little girl. I had every figurine and painting you could imagine. I guess momma didn't mind all that much, because, when it wasn't Christmas, she could just put the angel stuff in my room. And, wouldn't you know, I became a Pi Phi Angel. Hail Mississippi Gamma! Anyway, they're back, I'm back. I'm tired and happy and cannot wait to see what this week brings.

Chelsea Leann

So you had a bad day...

Today was one of the days that I wished Alex could have been with me. It was just a bad day, full of tiresome work, disappointments, a little heartbreak, and a little agitation.

I lay here and wonder about my future. Marriage, children, jobs, homes...I've been in dreamland lately. I am always in a dreamland. When I hit reality, I get grumpy and convince myself to go back to ignoring it. Emotions---are they real? We can't touch them, they're uncontrollable, and not consistent. Maybe emotions are just excuses for the things we do.

It's amazing the stock we put on words to express our emotions. Dislike, hate, care, love, like...but if you ask someone to define them clearly, to draw a line between each one, it will never turn out the same. I've told guys I love them before. I've never said it to gain something or to trick them. I honestly believed I felt it. That extreme feeling of where you can't live without that person, the thought of it hurts, they're the reason you smile, dream, and try. For me, love is where you'd gladly throw yourself in front of a bullet to save them. Not because they'd do the same for you, but because a world without them is not a good world. Throughout the  years, I've added to that definition, and I believe I'm getting close. Or maybe they are just many different stages of love. I hate how guys can talk about marriage and forever and be so convincing, but not fully realise what they're doing to a girl. the hopes and dreams and fantasies they're creating just by saying the word "marriage". It's not fair. I hate how guys pull you in with sweet words describing how they feel and think about you, but after awhile, you wonder if it was true or if they were just trying to get you. Is it all a game?

Alex is asleep and would probably get aggravated if I tried to talk to him about all of this. Kayla's probably asleep by now, too, and I don't want to bring any new worries to her already stressed mind.I guess I'm just going to continue to lie in bed and ponder. How will you know when it's real? I'm genuine. I say what I feel and think. But I can't trust everyone else to be that way. At the end of the day, who can you really trust besides yourself?

CC

Friday Friday, Oh how I love thee!

It is FINALLY Friday. Can I get an AMEN? My class got cancelled, I got to work on time, got to eat lunch with Kayla, rode around with Amy, and got new tires on my Jeep. And in a few moments, I'll be on the way to get a nice car wash from Mr. Bubbles. Of course, I'll get to see Alex. Wednesday, I went and saw him and learned how to unbag plants. I also got to see a helicopter take off for the first time! It was pretty neat, and Alex's face was pretty cute. He loves helicopters, and I wish he would just take the plunge and get his flight license. I know it's not that easy, but neither is wishing you could do one thing while you do something else your whole life. I hope to have a fun weekend. I'm not sure what will happen tonight, but tomorrow I will be writing two papers for my education classes and seeing Alex later on. Sunday, I get to go to a flower show with Alex and his family. I'm pretty excited. Anyway, it's time to go!

-Chelsea Leann

Boredommmm

I wonder if it's been six weeks since I pierced my ears...probably not. Time feels like it's passing when you're waiting for something good. Time is a funny thing, and at the moment, I want to sleep without my earrings in. I should probably go buy some new ones. Momma is getting agitated with me "borrowing" hers. Oh well. Today was a very regular day. Got up, got to school super early, presented a project, went to work, went to the doctor, went back to work, went to class, came home, wrote a lesson plan, and am currently waiting for that handsome guy of mine to make my phone ring. I think he's teaching me patience, or something like that. Lord forbid that I try to teach him patience. Alex can't sit through commercials without getting ill, much less waiting for his favoritest girl to text him back. (Note: I'm writing this just to agitate him. It's a fun new game.) I know what I'm going to get him for Christmas! And he is going to love it.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Four months until Christmas, Chelsea. Four months. You still gotta get through Halloween and Thanksgiving. But ladies and gentlemen, although it is sometimes difficult to break the m old of my fears, I am quite confident that Alex will not only be there for this Christmas, but for many to come. And I just really want to buy him this present because it'll make him happy. I even have inside help! EEP!

That makes me think of giving. Soooo many people think that if they give a good gift, they should get a good gift. That's the whole reason of gift giving...gift recieving. Now, I think that's wrong. I think you should give someone something because you want to make them happy. Price or what you're getting in return shouldn't matter....oh, I really can't wait until Christmas so I can buy him this and see his face. Can you imagine how frantic I'm going to be, how absolutely nervous. Even the most cocky of people get nervous.

 Trey is on his way home as we speak. He should have about two and half hours left on his trip home. I don't believe he will be going back to the rig thing. Even though I really am glad my best friend will be around more, I wish he would have been able to stick to the job. But who really wants to be away from home two weeks at a time doing miserable work? I just want him to be happy and successful. Crazy boy. He always asks how Alex is treating me. I think its funny, because I'm always talking about how much I care about Alex and how I hope I get it right this time. And Trey just laughs at me and says "He better." It's like all the men in my life are hell-bent on keeping me safe, whether physically or emotionally. I want to get Trey a girlfriend, but he's such a kid sometimes, I don't know if I want to put one of my friends through the unsureness of that bestie of mine. The guy knows all my secrets, hopes, and fears, but I don't know if I trust him with my friends. He's a little too easy going with the ladies. "I don't have girlfriends, I have friends." That's Trey for you. I'll have to post a picture of me and him soon. Goober.

Hopefully, Alex and I will take another picture soon. I'm a picture fanatic, as y'all know, and he should have known what he was getting into. All anyone has to do is look at my facebook or myspace and it should be obvious: This girl likes pictures. Alex isn't a bad sport about it though. Or if he is, I just think it's cause it's morning time, supper time, or just grumpy time. He's cute when he's mad though. In a very annoying, teeth grinding way. If that's possible. He's mine though, ladies. So hands-off.

I guess I'm going to go to bed and wait for Mister Deason to call me. A girlfriend's life for me :)

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

Weekend of Restation and HBO Freebies

Dear readers…or should I say reader?




My weekend was splendid, if I do say so myself. Boyfriend time, family time, and friend time. I haven’t had a weekend like this in awhile. It was a completely unplanned, relaxed few days…mixed in with some NyQuil and DayQuil. I don’t have a cold, but the medicine the doctor gave me isn’t doing anything but muffling the cough and now I have the sniffles. Which sucks, because now instead of sounding like a dog when I cough, I also sound like a pig when my nose gets too stuffy. Lucky me, and lucky Alex for getting to be seen with me, his personal little farm animal. Let’s start with Friday, shall we?
Friday, (which I have already updated, so this is just more of a continuation) started out as a rough, sad sad day. But, I got off work early, took some DayQuil, drank a NOS, washed and vacuumed my car, and headed to the Kosciusko vs. Philadelphia football game. I got to see Meagan and Cassidy, and of course all the wonderful firemen of Kosciusko. Did I mention that I also got to see that super cute (and newly shaven) boyfriend of mine? He was the main reason I was there, after all. The game was an epic fail if you were a Whippet fan. It was an exciting rendezvous for a new Philly Tornado fan. Kosciusko made some major mistakes, missing extra points, going for it on the 4th down, when they were under 20 yards on the Philly side. It was mistake after mistake. So much for an easy Homecoming win, right? Afterwards, I got some quality time with Alex before going home.
Saturday, dawned bright and early at 10 AM. It was dedicated to HBO movies of Bride Wars, the Time Travelers Wife, and other random tidbits of Jersey Shore. I got really bored and called up Amy. We ended up going to our favorite Mexican place in Starkville, La Terrezza, and then to see Easy A. I’ve missed my Amy! It was great to have a night with her.
Sunday, I spent just chilling on the couch (again) watching the typical wedding shows and more Jersey Shore and HBO movies. Then, Alex came over! Me and Brock were chilling on the back porch, reminiscing, and Alex got to hear some background family funk. My grandmother is obsessed with babies, etc. After that, I got to just lay back with Alex for a few hours.
Now, it’s almost bed time and I’m watching Bride Wars again, dreaming away. Gotta love it.

Do you ever look back and replay a bad memory over and over in your head, trying to learn from it, and finding that you just don’t know where you went wrong? So you’re lost as to how to prevent the bad memory from becoming a new reality. Yeah, well, it sucks. But everyone is different so the same thing can’t happen the same way, so maybe I’m safe. Hope so. *fingers crossed*

Love always,
Chelsea Collins

Friday is FINALLY here!

Well, I've been waiting on Friday all week, along with everyone else I know. School's been crazy, although I did finally get some praise from my Early Literacy teacher. And when I say finally, I mean it was one hard thing to do. I've never seen a teacher that seemed to dislike me so much. Tonight, I will going to the Kosciusko vs. Philadelphia game with the boyfriend and meeting up with Meagan and Cassidy. I am quite excited, even though it's been a long day and I'm sick. I took some Dayquil, grabbed a NOS, and am ready to hit the road. In my class, I'm always making little projects. Here are some cat puppets that I made-Calico and Clefty. Alex has layed claim to Calico. haha

Here are some other pictures from the Memphis game and some randoms!

Me and Tim Fizack :) We used to work together at Piggly Wiggly

Me and Olivia-Master Sanders' daughter @ the ACMA Competition

WHITE OUT GAME...with a touch of pink <3

Me and my cousin/sorority sista Tiffini Marie! Rocking the side pony tail.

WORK THAT UPDO!

That's all for now. I gotta get back to work. Can't wait to update again with hopefully a picture in his Philly Tornado pride!

-Chelsea Leann-

MSU/Auburn Game=One Confusing Week

Monday was Labour Day.

Wednesday, I met my kindergarden class at Ackerman Elementary. They're cute.
I also road my motorcycle to Starkville for class.
AND I chipped my tooth.

Thursday, I had a test. Then, a dentist appointment. Then, an hour to "observe" at Sudduth Elementary. And then, there was football.

Alex and his dad picked me up, and I brought my oversized, very pink cowbell to annoy them both. It worked. Chelsea: 1, Deasons: 0. It was a great game from my view, as I had my boyfriend beside me, and was in a great seat. A cute little girl was on my other side, and the Bulldogs weren't getting buried with their bones. We didn't win---no, we couldn't be that lucky--but we did hang on until the bitter end. #14 hung onto the ball a little too much, but that's a negative fact of the game. Sometimes, football gets sloppy and confusing. I guess that's expected since everyone running in different directions, you never know where the ball is going to go, and people are trying to hit you. It's entertaining from the stands, atleast. We stayed until the end of the game (MSU 14, Auburn 17) and didn't get home until 12. I was able to fall asleep until around 1. It doesn't seem to bad if it would have only been on a weekend. No, no. I had to be up early this morning to get to work by 8. Dern responsibilities.

Isn't he the most handsome guy? So sweet!

Friday: I'm about to fall asleep over the computer. I need to get to work. I have a girls night that starts in four hours, and I'm trying to pep myself up for it. I've missed my girls so much--Jessica and Samantha were in Tae Kwon Do with me. Butttt, I'm really tired. If I stay awake throughout the whole movie, it'll be a miracle.

The days to come: Saturday, I will be in Kosciusko at Attala Martial Arts's competition. I'm pretty pumped to see the kids. They've moved up the ranks very quickly! Iva Ruth has done a fantastic job. One day I will get back in it. After that, I'm kidnapping Alex and we're going to...well, I don't know what we will do, I just know I'll be in my favorite place. Sunday will be dedicated to projects due the next week. More on that.

Has anyone read The Very Hungry Caterpillar? Alex doesn't know what I'm talking about. Weirdo <3

Sunday Posting

This weekend has seemed to go on and on. Yesterday, I thought it was Sunday. But it has been a wonderful weekend. Friday night, Alex picked me up and took me to Starkville. The original plan was to go to the movies, but his friend Cassidy asked us to come hang out. I had no preference, to be honest. I just wanted to be with Alex. Every day stretches on forever that I dont get to see him. I know, I sound like a melodramatic seventh grader with her first boyfriend. Cut me a break, I just live for the weekends. We hung out with Cassidy, his girl Meagan, and Bill. Everytime I see Bill, I just see Alex grinning, doing his best Chicago impression, saying "Hey guys." It's too cute and funny. Of course, despite the "please don't go over there and ignore me" conversation, more or less, me and Meagan talked while Alex, Cassidy, and Bill talk. It was fun though. I really liked Meagan. She's one of those girls that just seems layed back, easy to get along with, and interested in whatever you say. She even said I looked like a teacher! It made me feel better, because sometimes I feel like I don't fit in any profession. Saturday, I was looking for an excuse to go to Kosciusko so I could see Alex. I know, I know--total overkill, but really, I missed this guy. So, I scheduled a hair appointment, and came out of the salon with a lot of blonde over my dark brown. I'm two-toned...whatever that means. I'll go back every three or four weeks for a few months until my hair is mostly blonde or light brown. I miss my natural colour. One of the guys in my high school used to call it caramel...of course he was black, and had a pick up line to go with it, but I took it as a joke. It's one of the things you learn to just act stupid over in Weir, as if you can't tell they're hitting on you or hating on you. That's probably why so many of my classmates were surprised to see me graduate 4th in my class, give a speech, become Star Student with my ACT, and find that I was in Honors at State. Maybe I played stupid a little too well.

I'm in moody hell. I couldn't figure out why all Thursday or Friday and then I finally figured it out. I'm always between cursing Eve and praising her name, because without her, I don't htink I ever would have been born. It's bitter sweet to be a girl, eh? On this lazy Sunday, I have watched my typical wedding shows, found a new one that I hated (Left At The Alter) that will surely plague my nightmares for weeks, organized my school binder, finished a Phonics Pre-Test, and am about to print out the rest of my syllabi and read the first chapter of every book...just because I'm a nerd and want to get a 4.0 this year. I hope to pull my GPA up to above a 3.0 this semester, and hopefully be a 3.5 by the end of junior year. Freshman year, Biology, and Trigonometry were the murderers of my GPA.  Well, I was just dropping in for a quick "This is my life...."

As you can see, not all that interesting, except for that cute stalker of mine.

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

First Week of Class

Well, my first week is over...or should I say first three days? Work is finally smoothing off and the time to study for quizzes and do projects is adding up. This semester is going to be busy---I'm exhausted by the time I get home. Last night, I was passed out by 10:30. I remember talking to Alex, saying goodnight, and then waking up this morning at 6:45. And now I'm back into my class-work-home schedule. Exceptttt- tonight Alex is taking me to the movies. I love little dates. I'm not used to them, and I just love being able to spend some special time away from home with him. To be honest, I love showing him off. He's so good to me and always seems to think of ME--its disconcerting and I enjoy every minute of it. I have to remind myself to slow down and take it easy, but sometimes the butterflies in my stomach make me want to take off full force...but I'm usually on cloud 9- how much higher can one go? Anyway, I have to get back to work, but I wanted to add a quick happy update.

Love always,
Chelsea Collins

Control Freak

Women. We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we? We can be logical, cool, and the very voice of reason when we look at a situation from the outside, but the second we’re in our own homes and our own problems, we hit the roof. I’ve been blessed with the ability to forgive and let go of grudges. I thrive on having people like me, want to talk to me, think of me. I guess you could call me an attention-lover. I believe that everyone deserves a fair chance, even a second chance, or a third chance. People change, don’t they? But with every blessing comes a curse. By liking people so easily, my life is ruled by those close to me. I cannot stand for someone to be mad at me. And when I can’t figure out why someone is ill, it brings me down. Because all I want to do is to make people happy. What’s most disappointing is when you finally accept that you can make someone happy, only to find out that sometimes it’s just not possible. You can drag yourself through hell, and some people just won’t be pleased.




Anyway, enough of ranting. Today was the first day of my JUNIOR year. It’s satisfying to say that. A lot of people don’t make it this far. No matter if I’m sure there are over 5,000 Juniors at Mississippi State alone, I’m thinking on worldly terms here. One more year of classes. Then, I’m doing block for a semester. Then, I’m onto student teaching. Even though I’m not quite sure if teaching is what I’m going to do with my life, it’s solid- it’s something that I can control. That’s why I like school so much. Everything you have to do is written on paper. If you do what you’re told and your best, 90% of the time, you’ll walk away with a degree. The other 10% I won’t even think about it. I don’t like being out of control. I didn’t even get to register for my classes until yesterday. I was having chest pains and nightmares for the past few weeks, stressing over everything.

I’m not sure why I’m blabbing. I’m just upset and agitated, a little lost. I can’t control how I feel, I can’t slow it down. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I feel stupid. When you care too much, you lose control of yourself. You have to depend on someone else. And then what happens to you when they aren’t dependable? When you don’t make them happy, how can they make you happy, when your happiness depends on theirs? I can’t control everything. I can just control myself. I hope.

But today went well as far as classes go. I made my mom and dad smile, too. So I guess the day is not totally wasted. I just need to cheer the heck up.

Chelsea Leann

Jumping Spider

I'm stealing a few moments of "me" time at work. Everyone is out to lunch and I wanted to update for my stalker. There is this tiny, creepy spider that jumps at me every time I attempt to get near my desk. At the moment is on the side of an old cup, staring at me. It moves like lightening and JUMPS so I can't ever kill it. But, don't worry, I won't let it kill me either. Yesterday, a void that has been in my life for three long empty months has been filled. By Alex, you ask? NO. By Amy Bowling, my bestest friend who makes me smile and laugh and all that jazz. We met about two years ago and got really close last Fall when we had American Literature together. That's the only good thing that came out of that class, no thanks to Bonnie McNeill. Sweet lady, agitating teacher---just saying.

Anyway, we hung out for a few hours and even visited with Uncle Billy, who gave us a lecture on the perfect boyfriend, etc. Same story, different setting. He has yet to meet Alex. Actually Alex has only met my parents and brother. I don't think I'm quite ready to release my crazy horde of relatives on him. I mean, they scare ME sometimes and I've been arround them for 20 years. But maybe if I did introduce him, he'd see that I really am quite normal.

The spider just moved across the back of the computer table and is perched on top of my stapler. I hate this spider. I think I'll name it Charlie.

Alex has been working at the fair for two nights and will continue to do so for two more nights. Parking cars. It's sad that people are not smart or respectful enough to park themselves. How dare they take my quality time with my baby away from me. So, poor darling Alex is left to stalk my facebook, myspace, and blog to spend time with me. I, however, have no way to stalk him as he never updates ANYTHING. I guess he like to keep me hanging. Punk.

My boss said I could take Monday off so I could shop. YAY! All my jeans are about 3 years old and holey. As I am moving on up in the world---JUNIORRRRRR---I imagine I need to start dressing slightly less bummy and more professional. Or atleast like I have a job and can afford a good pair of jeans....or four. I need to order a new phone cover while I'm at it. My poor blackberry won't last much longer if I keep dropping, kicking, and misusing it. I guess I rough up my possessions. MY PUMAS CAME IN! I'm so excited. This online shoppnig thing is really nifty. This week's obsession online is ebay. I'm currently bidding on some blue right handed golf clubs. They're pretty, I want them, but I refuse to spend more than 80 as there is a possibility that I won't be very good at golf and won't use them. Like the paintball gun....which is for sale, along with mask and a box of paint balls for the great price of $100.00. It's a great gun, three settings---I wish I could tell you what the settings were but as I've only shot it once for about ten minutes, I cannot explain the full awesomeness of it. It's blue, like everything else I own though.

The spider is inching closer. I'm going to sign off now. Peace out...


And Alex, darling, I miss you.

Chelsea Leann

Boom Boom

Yep, it's that time of year again. SORORITY RUSH! I have all the rush songs stuck in my head and I'm as happy as can be that I can celebrate from a distance...except I'm at work. Total bummer. I really wish I could see Alex, but he's doing fire department stuff tonight. Double bummer. So where does that leave little ole me? Getting off work at 3, going to wash and detail my car, doing laundry, and cleaning my messy room. Clean Clean Clean. It's time for the OCD to come out. I'm going to get in trouble for updating at work. Oh well.

I've discovered E-Bay! I'm bidding on a complete set of Wilson Golf Clubs. Their value is $150.00, but I won't bid over $90, because shipping is $9.99. Yep, Im such a shrewd business woman.

You all should know that I have a stalker. He follows my every move via facebook, myspace, and blogspot. He's about 5'8, reddish brown hair. Wears khaki or gym shorts, sometimes a polo, but mostly t-shirts, sometimes sleeveless. He hates country music. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. Name: Alex Deason. So if you see him, please tackle and tie him up, and call me immediately. I will come take care of him ;)

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

MSU Workers

So, I need to rant. MSU workers, it's not that hard to be nice for two minutes to a student who is obviously concerned about where her money went. I could see if it was a little annoying if it were the paltry sum of maybe 100 dollars. But when it reaches up in the thousands, I'd be prepared to be extra nice. I don't care what kind of morning you've had. If someone calls you, pull your Southern Charm out and use it like a fairy on crack. You don't have to smile at me, you can even be fake. But you need to attempt to atleast to be sweet. You are a representative of Mississippi State University and by having a bad, smart-ellic, I don't want to help you attitude, you do not show us to be the "People's University". Guess what? I'd much rather be in a cabin, sleeping in my baby's arms, listening to rain hit the tin roof and windows. But I'm not going to take it out on everyone that tries to make you do your job. So there. I've had my rant. And just noticed a huge jumping spider about 6 inches from my hand. Signing outtttt!

Chelsea Leann

Sitting in Philly

Well, Alex so kindly reminded me I hadn't updated in awhile. So, here I am sitting in some random parking lot in Philadelphia waiting on Alex to come back to the car, thinking about random things. There are some random girls standing near the Jeep, but as I don't know them, I think I will just sit quiet. Is that odd? I'm shy at the weirdest times, usually not when I should be. I guess I will never get things quite right, but perfection is never as interesting as it is made out to be.

Today, Alex had a golf tourney and he asked me to go. It was hot, and very difficult to remain quiet. But, overall, it was great to see him after a full week of him being away, and interesting to watch this strange game. I found myself wanting to play, but then I remembered previous experiences and the total failure. I am one of those girls that will try almost anything once, but usually, I find that I am not that good at much. I still haven't found my natural talent, except shooting a gun. Supposedly, I'm really good at being right on the mark.

Classes start in a little over a week. I'm very ready! But Alex has returned and I guess I'm going to sign out. Its been a great day. <3

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

Never say Never

If I have learned anything from this past week, it is “Never say never.” Because, usually it’s going to happen, or happen again. And sometimes, you just have to let it happen. I was dead set on not liking anyone…and then I met Alex. And then I was convinced that it wasn’t going to keep being great. Well, so far, I’m wrong about that, too. I promised myself I’d never trust another guy. Well, promises are meant to be broken. And all thanks to this handsome guy named Alex that just so happened to fall into my life. I haven’t hit the ground yet. And when I do hit the ground, I’m not sure if I’ll be running or trying to get back on cloud nine. I guess you never know with me.




Momma asked what it was like seeing a guy 5 times in one week. I hadn’t realized I had seen him that often. It’s gotten to where one day feels like forever, and so if I am able to see Alex, I go. If he is able to see me, he comes. It’s interesting and glorious to have a guy who is willing to drive to middle of no WEIR just to see me. Alex is delusional. See, he thinks I’m all these great things. That’s another difference I’m going to have to get used to. I don’t have to prove myself to this…insane, down to earth, caring, incredible guy. He wants ME. And I still can’t figure out why. But hey, I’m down with it. I may not understand it, but I’m totally fine with this going on for as long as it will.



Here’s a picture of us goofing off today. Hopefully there will be many more pictures and nights like tonight.

Love always,

Chelsea Leann

The First of Many

Well, they say you forgive a little at a time. One foot in front of the other. Without motivation, we just trudge along, with all our troubles in an old kit bag, dragging it with us.

But what if there was something or someone that made us want to run, sprint, fly towards that finish line of forgiving others of past minstakes, forgiving ourselves for our insecuirities and eccentricities? Wouldn't you take it? Shouldn't you?

Or should you continue to punish yourself?



Today started off as awful. Early morning, carless, work, yucky short lunch, arguments with the post office, UPS, and Barnes and Noble over the delivery of my nook....some things just shouldn't happen in one day. I admit, I was mostly anxious for five o'clock. When you have something amazing waiting for you and you can't see it until then, it makes the hours tick past slowly. What was this amazing something? Oh...just my first official date with Alex.

Three things I adore about Alex:
1) He manages to be honest, funny, and sweet all in one sentence.
2) He likes me for me..theres no freaking out half the time because my hair isn't perfect or my makeup isn't flawless.
3) This may be shallow, but he's got the most beautiful blue eyes that take my breathe away You guys know I'm a sucker for eyes, but this guy has something special.

We went to Applebees and then hung out with some of his friends. Imagine my clutsy self meeting strangers, trying to think of something to say, but ending up sitting awkwardly on the edge of the couch, trying to figure out how to be involved without actually opening my mouth or moving. The life of Chelsea Leann is a hazardous one with there are nerves....and of course, there are always nerves. I can go head first, straight into something but that doesn't mean I'm not having a nervous breakdown inside. All I can say is, I cannotwait to meet the rest of his friends, because he's a little more relaxed around them.

I'm sitting at home right now, supposedly studying, but have my head in the clouds. It's been so long since I went on a date that I didn't have to beg for, push and pull. It was so genuine- and that's going to be the easiest to get used to, all the while, the hardest to trust in. I know, I'm so paranoid.

But I decied consciously what I guess I subconciously decided when I met Alex. I won't let anything hold me back from trying and being myself. Because this guy makes me happy, and I deserve to be happy, dang it.

Ok, enough gushing about my crazy life. It's bed time. Two tests tomorrow. There will probably be a rant about the stupidity of octagons tomorrow. Just saying.

Au Revoir!
Chelsea Leann

*Summer*

Updates, Updates, Updates.

Jackie quit on me. So no more two week vacations to spend sleeping late, traveling to random places, and being totally lazy.

I hate Geometry. The teacher is crazy, and I have no idea what she wants. I only have a final left, and, pray for me-I need to pass to pass the class.

It's HOT outside. Welcome to Mississippi? I wish I were on a beach, getting a tan, and kicking up the water like a little kid. No more sea shell collecting though. I have about 100 from my early expedition.

Vacation was great, but I was ready to be home. But now that I'm home, I'd dearly love to be away. Maybe I'll make a trip to Destin or Orange Beach again soon. Rebekah wants me to come to South Carolina, but the parents aren't that big on me driving that far. I can't really blame them, as I can't drive in Jackson.

I finally brought Lil' Boy Blue home and road him on the highway. VICTORY! Only to find out my front break pads were worn. Fail. But, I'm still cool because I can ride a motorcycle.

I've been hanging around Kosciusko a lot lately. There's this awesome guy that lives there that makes me laugh and smile, and have hope. I think, my dear nonexistent readers, that the days and nights of Chelsea Leann are looking up indeed.

Until next time, whenever that may be....
Chelsea Leann

Vacation and Life

Well, Evin and I finally brok eup for good. I'm saddened because he really was a great boyfriend most of the time and I had so many great times, and I won't be able to have any more adventures with him. But that's how life goes right?

At the moment, I'm sitting in a hotel room in Leadville, CO with my brother. My mom is suffering from altitude sickness, so we might have to leave tomorrow although we just got here. I'd hate to have driven 638 miles just to skip out. So far we have been to Branson, Missouri; Omaha, Nebraska; and here. All I can say is that between all of those towns is a LOT of corn!

We went to Silver Dollar City, Dixie Stampede, and Ride the Ducks! in Branson. It was SO much fun, although my familiy wouldn't ride the rollar coasters with me.

We went to Henry Doley Zoo and Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha. That zoo is AMAZING! It was in Omaha that people started looking at me funny every time I spoke. I've tried to curb the drawl, but to no avail. I guess everyone's just going to have to get used to it.

Now that I've finally seen some of the Rockies, I must say that I am impressed. Although it is sort of chilly up here, it's quite enjoyable. Minus the temporary light headedness. It's 23% humidity out here and they think that THAT is high. They should visit Mississippi!

I'll try to update with more of my SUPER vacation with the whole family. Sunday is Dodge City, Kansas. Monday is Mulfreesboro, Arkansas. Then, home! Being so far from home makes me miss it, but I hear there is a major heat wave out there, so I'll stay put.

Me and Brother in front of a lake and fountain in downtown Branson

Lion!

Cute Polar Bear!

Not even dating Evin anymore, but still looking at ducks

Penguins make me think of my dormmate, Krstin

Bryan in front of Rosenblatt Stadium

too cute of a picture to pass up!

Chelsea Collins