Sunday Posting

This weekend has seemed to go on and on. Yesterday, I thought it was Sunday. But it has been a wonderful weekend. Friday night, Alex picked me up and took me to Starkville. The original plan was to go to the movies, but his friend Cassidy asked us to come hang out. I had no preference, to be honest. I just wanted to be with Alex. Every day stretches on forever that I dont get to see him. I know, I sound like a melodramatic seventh grader with her first boyfriend. Cut me a break, I just live for the weekends. We hung out with Cassidy, his girl Meagan, and Bill. Everytime I see Bill, I just see Alex grinning, doing his best Chicago impression, saying "Hey guys." It's too cute and funny. Of course, despite the "please don't go over there and ignore me" conversation, more or less, me and Meagan talked while Alex, Cassidy, and Bill talk. It was fun though. I really liked Meagan. She's one of those girls that just seems layed back, easy to get along with, and interested in whatever you say. She even said I looked like a teacher! It made me feel better, because sometimes I feel like I don't fit in any profession. Saturday, I was looking for an excuse to go to Kosciusko so I could see Alex. I know, I know--total overkill, but really, I missed this guy. So, I scheduled a hair appointment, and came out of the salon with a lot of blonde over my dark brown. I'm two-toned...whatever that means. I'll go back every three or four weeks for a few months until my hair is mostly blonde or light brown. I miss my natural colour. One of the guys in my high school used to call it caramel...of course he was black, and had a pick up line to go with it, but I took it as a joke. It's one of the things you learn to just act stupid over in Weir, as if you can't tell they're hitting on you or hating on you. That's probably why so many of my classmates were surprised to see me graduate 4th in my class, give a speech, become Star Student with my ACT, and find that I was in Honors at State. Maybe I played stupid a little too well.

I'm in moody hell. I couldn't figure out why all Thursday or Friday and then I finally figured it out. I'm always between cursing Eve and praising her name, because without her, I don't htink I ever would have been born. It's bitter sweet to be a girl, eh? On this lazy Sunday, I have watched my typical wedding shows, found a new one that I hated (Left At The Alter) that will surely plague my nightmares for weeks, organized my school binder, finished a Phonics Pre-Test, and am about to print out the rest of my syllabi and read the first chapter of every book...just because I'm a nerd and want to get a 4.0 this year. I hope to pull my GPA up to above a 3.0 this semester, and hopefully be a 3.5 by the end of junior year. Freshman year, Biology, and Trigonometry were the murderers of my GPA.  Well, I was just dropping in for a quick "This is my life...."

As you can see, not all that interesting, except for that cute stalker of mine.

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

First Week of Class

Well, my first week is over...or should I say first three days? Work is finally smoothing off and the time to study for quizzes and do projects is adding up. This semester is going to be busy---I'm exhausted by the time I get home. Last night, I was passed out by 10:30. I remember talking to Alex, saying goodnight, and then waking up this morning at 6:45. And now I'm back into my class-work-home schedule. Exceptttt- tonight Alex is taking me to the movies. I love little dates. I'm not used to them, and I just love being able to spend some special time away from home with him. To be honest, I love showing him off. He's so good to me and always seems to think of ME--its disconcerting and I enjoy every minute of it. I have to remind myself to slow down and take it easy, but sometimes the butterflies in my stomach make me want to take off full force...but I'm usually on cloud 9- how much higher can one go? Anyway, I have to get back to work, but I wanted to add a quick happy update.

Love always,
Chelsea Collins

Control Freak

Women. We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we? We can be logical, cool, and the very voice of reason when we look at a situation from the outside, but the second we’re in our own homes and our own problems, we hit the roof. I’ve been blessed with the ability to forgive and let go of grudges. I thrive on having people like me, want to talk to me, think of me. I guess you could call me an attention-lover. I believe that everyone deserves a fair chance, even a second chance, or a third chance. People change, don’t they? But with every blessing comes a curse. By liking people so easily, my life is ruled by those close to me. I cannot stand for someone to be mad at me. And when I can’t figure out why someone is ill, it brings me down. Because all I want to do is to make people happy. What’s most disappointing is when you finally accept that you can make someone happy, only to find out that sometimes it’s just not possible. You can drag yourself through hell, and some people just won’t be pleased.




Anyway, enough of ranting. Today was the first day of my JUNIOR year. It’s satisfying to say that. A lot of people don’t make it this far. No matter if I’m sure there are over 5,000 Juniors at Mississippi State alone, I’m thinking on worldly terms here. One more year of classes. Then, I’m doing block for a semester. Then, I’m onto student teaching. Even though I’m not quite sure if teaching is what I’m going to do with my life, it’s solid- it’s something that I can control. That’s why I like school so much. Everything you have to do is written on paper. If you do what you’re told and your best, 90% of the time, you’ll walk away with a degree. The other 10% I won’t even think about it. I don’t like being out of control. I didn’t even get to register for my classes until yesterday. I was having chest pains and nightmares for the past few weeks, stressing over everything.

I’m not sure why I’m blabbing. I’m just upset and agitated, a little lost. I can’t control how I feel, I can’t slow it down. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I feel stupid. When you care too much, you lose control of yourself. You have to depend on someone else. And then what happens to you when they aren’t dependable? When you don’t make them happy, how can they make you happy, when your happiness depends on theirs? I can’t control everything. I can just control myself. I hope.

But today went well as far as classes go. I made my mom and dad smile, too. So I guess the day is not totally wasted. I just need to cheer the heck up.

Chelsea Leann

Jumping Spider

I'm stealing a few moments of "me" time at work. Everyone is out to lunch and I wanted to update for my stalker. There is this tiny, creepy spider that jumps at me every time I attempt to get near my desk. At the moment is on the side of an old cup, staring at me. It moves like lightening and JUMPS so I can't ever kill it. But, don't worry, I won't let it kill me either. Yesterday, a void that has been in my life for three long empty months has been filled. By Alex, you ask? NO. By Amy Bowling, my bestest friend who makes me smile and laugh and all that jazz. We met about two years ago and got really close last Fall when we had American Literature together. That's the only good thing that came out of that class, no thanks to Bonnie McNeill. Sweet lady, agitating teacher---just saying.

Anyway, we hung out for a few hours and even visited with Uncle Billy, who gave us a lecture on the perfect boyfriend, etc. Same story, different setting. He has yet to meet Alex. Actually Alex has only met my parents and brother. I don't think I'm quite ready to release my crazy horde of relatives on him. I mean, they scare ME sometimes and I've been arround them for 20 years. But maybe if I did introduce him, he'd see that I really am quite normal.

The spider just moved across the back of the computer table and is perched on top of my stapler. I hate this spider. I think I'll name it Charlie.

Alex has been working at the fair for two nights and will continue to do so for two more nights. Parking cars. It's sad that people are not smart or respectful enough to park themselves. How dare they take my quality time with my baby away from me. So, poor darling Alex is left to stalk my facebook, myspace, and blog to spend time with me. I, however, have no way to stalk him as he never updates ANYTHING. I guess he like to keep me hanging. Punk.

My boss said I could take Monday off so I could shop. YAY! All my jeans are about 3 years old and holey. As I am moving on up in the world---JUNIORRRRRR---I imagine I need to start dressing slightly less bummy and more professional. Or atleast like I have a job and can afford a good pair of jeans....or four. I need to order a new phone cover while I'm at it. My poor blackberry won't last much longer if I keep dropping, kicking, and misusing it. I guess I rough up my possessions. MY PUMAS CAME IN! I'm so excited. This online shoppnig thing is really nifty. This week's obsession online is ebay. I'm currently bidding on some blue right handed golf clubs. They're pretty, I want them, but I refuse to spend more than 80 as there is a possibility that I won't be very good at golf and won't use them. Like the paintball gun....which is for sale, along with mask and a box of paint balls for the great price of $100.00. It's a great gun, three settings---I wish I could tell you what the settings were but as I've only shot it once for about ten minutes, I cannot explain the full awesomeness of it. It's blue, like everything else I own though.

The spider is inching closer. I'm going to sign off now. Peace out...


And Alex, darling, I miss you.

Chelsea Leann

Boom Boom

Yep, it's that time of year again. SORORITY RUSH! I have all the rush songs stuck in my head and I'm as happy as can be that I can celebrate from a distance...except I'm at work. Total bummer. I really wish I could see Alex, but he's doing fire department stuff tonight. Double bummer. So where does that leave little ole me? Getting off work at 3, going to wash and detail my car, doing laundry, and cleaning my messy room. Clean Clean Clean. It's time for the OCD to come out. I'm going to get in trouble for updating at work. Oh well.

I've discovered E-Bay! I'm bidding on a complete set of Wilson Golf Clubs. Their value is $150.00, but I won't bid over $90, because shipping is $9.99. Yep, Im such a shrewd business woman.

You all should know that I have a stalker. He follows my every move via facebook, myspace, and blogspot. He's about 5'8, reddish brown hair. Wears khaki or gym shorts, sometimes a polo, but mostly t-shirts, sometimes sleeveless. He hates country music. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. Name: Alex Deason. So if you see him, please tackle and tie him up, and call me immediately. I will come take care of him ;)

Love always,
Chelsea Leann

MSU Workers

So, I need to rant. MSU workers, it's not that hard to be nice for two minutes to a student who is obviously concerned about where her money went. I could see if it was a little annoying if it were the paltry sum of maybe 100 dollars. But when it reaches up in the thousands, I'd be prepared to be extra nice. I don't care what kind of morning you've had. If someone calls you, pull your Southern Charm out and use it like a fairy on crack. You don't have to smile at me, you can even be fake. But you need to attempt to atleast to be sweet. You are a representative of Mississippi State University and by having a bad, smart-ellic, I don't want to help you attitude, you do not show us to be the "People's University". Guess what? I'd much rather be in a cabin, sleeping in my baby's arms, listening to rain hit the tin roof and windows. But I'm not going to take it out on everyone that tries to make you do your job. So there. I've had my rant. And just noticed a huge jumping spider about 6 inches from my hand. Signing outtttt!

Chelsea Leann

Sitting in Philly

Well, Alex so kindly reminded me I hadn't updated in awhile. So, here I am sitting in some random parking lot in Philadelphia waiting on Alex to come back to the car, thinking about random things. There are some random girls standing near the Jeep, but as I don't know them, I think I will just sit quiet. Is that odd? I'm shy at the weirdest times, usually not when I should be. I guess I will never get things quite right, but perfection is never as interesting as it is made out to be.

Today, Alex had a golf tourney and he asked me to go. It was hot, and very difficult to remain quiet. But, overall, it was great to see him after a full week of him being away, and interesting to watch this strange game. I found myself wanting to play, but then I remembered previous experiences and the total failure. I am one of those girls that will try almost anything once, but usually, I find that I am not that good at much. I still haven't found my natural talent, except shooting a gun. Supposedly, I'm really good at being right on the mark.

Classes start in a little over a week. I'm very ready! But Alex has returned and I guess I'm going to sign out. Its been a great day. <3

Love always,
Chelsea Leann